Huumorinurk...
Huumorinurk...
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kkopec
- Foorumi kasutaja
- Postitusi: 314
- Liitunud: 17 Mai 2003 21:32
- Asukoht: Kui kodus,siis Rakvere!
- Autod: japs
Natuke solvanguid.
Ära nori! Umbe taotud silmadega on raske asfaltilt hambaid üles leida kui käeluu puruks on.
Ema on sulle kindlasti mitu korda öelnud, et sa ei ole mitte loll, vaid eriline.
Ma ei ole küll uroloog, aga mu..i tunnen ma kaugelt ära.
Temasuguste pärast ongi meil piimapakkide peal sildid "Ava siit".
Õpi oma vanemate vigadest, kasuta kondoomi!
Kuidas sulle kõrvalvaatajana inimsugu tundub?
Kena tüdruk. Oleks tal kaks jalga rohkem, võiks vesternis mängida.
Ma ei unusta kunagi ühtki nägu, aga sinu puhul tahaks küll erandi teha
Kas Sa ütlesid midagi või liigutas tuul su papist lõugu?
Ära nori! Umbe taotud silmadega on raske asfaltilt hambaid üles leida kui käeluu puruks on.
Ema on sulle kindlasti mitu korda öelnud, et sa ei ole mitte loll, vaid eriline.
Ma ei ole küll uroloog, aga mu..i tunnen ma kaugelt ära.
Temasuguste pärast ongi meil piimapakkide peal sildid "Ava siit".
Õpi oma vanemate vigadest, kasuta kondoomi!
Kuidas sulle kõrvalvaatajana inimsugu tundub?
Kena tüdruk. Oleks tal kaks jalga rohkem, võiks vesternis mängida.
Ma ei unusta kunagi ühtki nägu, aga sinu puhul tahaks küll erandi teha
Kas Sa ütlesid midagi või liigutas tuul su papist lõugu?
Ära osta omale autot,mida sa lükata ei jaksa!-Al Bundy
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ddevilmaster
- Foorumi kasutaja
- Postitusi: 10
- Liitunud: 25 Mär 2007 23:38
- Asukoht: jõgeva mk torma
- Autod: vaz 21011, vaz 2101, audi 80, ja varsti Opel Calibra 4x4 Sport turbo
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logman
- Ladaklubi Liige
- Postitusi: 4002
- Liitunud: 29 Nov 2004 23:46
- Asukoht: Mulgi ja Sakala vahel vibreerin
- Autod: 1,3 "vasmjorka", 1,2 "kopeika", 1,4d vollwaagen
- Kontakt:
Lugu elust enesest.
Prantsusmaal. Saabus siia üks tüüp tööle.
Mees nagu muiste, aga no ikka peab vägisi vimka sisse viskama
. Mõni sort kohe tõmbab õnnetusi ligi ....
Lennujaamas jäi sell pagasist ilma. Juhtub, et aetakse kuskil segamini eriti kui tegemist ümberistumisega. Oligi. Tallinn-Amsterdam-Toulouse.
Teine sell (minu paarimees), kes lennukasse vastu läks, sai seetõttu kohe algul paraja kõhutäie naerda.
Eks see pagasivärk klaaritakse ära ja elu läheb edasi (tänaseks ongi juba klaaritud), aga ega siis naljad sellega lõppenud.
Kutil polnud kaasas mitte ühtegi senti seda va eurokõlisevat, seevastu lesisid rahakotis kenasti reas joondu-valvel pakk lillasid "jakobsone".
Ooo püha lihtsameelsus
Bordeaux`s pidi neid vahetada saama ....
Prantsusmaal. Saabus siia üks tüüp tööle.
Mees nagu muiste, aga no ikka peab vägisi vimka sisse viskama
. Mõni sort kohe tõmbab õnnetusi ligi ....Lennujaamas jäi sell pagasist ilma. Juhtub, et aetakse kuskil segamini eriti kui tegemist ümberistumisega. Oligi. Tallinn-Amsterdam-Toulouse.
Teine sell (minu paarimees), kes lennukasse vastu läks, sai seetõttu kohe algul paraja kõhutäie naerda.
Eks see pagasivärk klaaritakse ära ja elu läheb edasi (tänaseks ongi juba klaaritud), aga ega siis naljad sellega lõppenud.
Kutil polnud kaasas mitte ühtegi senti seda va eurokõlisevat, seevastu lesisid rahakotis kenasti reas joondu-valvel pakk lillasid "jakobsone".
Ooo püha lihtsameelsus
Bordeaux`s pidi neid vahetada saama ....
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kristjan92
- Ladaklubi Liige
- Postitusi: 854
- Liitunud: 08 Jaan 2007 22:14
- Asukoht: Tamsalu
- Autod: Lada Nova 21053 92' , Seat Cordoba 01'
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SexSix
- Foorumi kasutaja
- Postitusi: 2509
- Liitunud: 22 Juul 2007 17:18
- Asukoht: Viljandimaa
- Autod: 013
Asi naljast kaugel.
Nimelt saksa turistidele jooksis p?der ette. Auto l?mmis ja l?puks maandus p?der sakslaste haagissuvilas.http://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/arti ... tid=568792
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Kytt
- Ladaklubi Juhatus
- Postitusi: 2067
- Liitunud: 29 Okt 2002 11:32
- Asukoht: Tallinn
- Autod: 4x2102, Jeep & Toyota
Kas just huumorinurk see kõige sobivam koht on, aga ...
elu USAs 1957vs2007
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy
elu USAs 1957vs2007
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy